Shannon Costello

This time I struggled with fear before CJ left town. It has helped to spend the late nights reading this book until I am tired enough to fall asleep. Most conveniently, Augustine spends time putting the fear of things like loss of possessions, death, and rape into perspective. Consider the following:

On Loss of Possessions
“For nothing could perish on earth save what they would be ashamed to carry away from earth.” (14)

On Death
“That death is not to be judged an evil which is the end of a good life; for death becomes evil only by the retribution that follows it.” (16)

On Rape
“And thus, so long as the soul keeps this firmness of purpose which sanctifies even the body, the violence done by another’s lust makes no impression on this bodily sanctity, which is preserved intact by one’s own persistent continence.” (23)

I think what it boils down to is that the things we fear most on earth, when put into perspective, are not the dreaded end that they seem but are instead a means to prepare us for our eternal destiny. Let’s try this: I think that right now I fear aging (particularly grey hair, spider veins, and wrinkles) more than I fear death. Turning 30 was hard, and I suspect that 40 will be worse. I suspect that so strongly, in fact, that I’m trying to prepare for it now!

Augustine talks about the benefits of loss of physical possessions or physical purity for those that had held them too high. A Christian who fell into that error could, through their loss, come to see their need to wholly “set their affections on a possession they could not lose” (15), namely, Christ.

So, then, there is no need to wantonly dwell on the terrors of white hair when I can be continually investing in that which provides eternal returns. I guess the loss of my youthful good looks (no derisive snorts, please) really is a good thing…as they slip away, I can more easily learn to set my affections fully on Christ.