Stop Calling me That!
September 3rd, 2006Someone else described me as “sweet” last week. As far as I am concerned that is blatantly false. I know I am not sweet.
“Sweet” is the sort of word that makes only rare guest appearances in my own speech about others, but I do regularly describe people as “good” or “bad”. And so does the Bible. But in the Bible everyone starts out in the same state: bad. Some persons later turn towards God and they are the people referred to as good (implying a relationship with God rather than perfection).
Obviously I can’t comment with any accuracy on the state of another person’s relationship with God, so my labels must mean something else! I think my problem is false equivalents.
Sometimes “good” means “I like them” and “bad” means “I don’t like them.” It is so much easier to label a person as bad than to say “I don’t like them.” At other times I am afraid I will be understood as attaching value to a person, and so “good” means “worth keeping” while “bad” is the opposite. (”Yes, she lied to me…but she’s not a bad person.”)
So I think what I’m seeing is euphemistic speech to cover the fact that I’m not exactly thinking about people the way Jesus did. I’d like to work on the attitude problem and the speech problem…though they seem to be deeply rooted. Like mint.
And now everyone can see why they need to get over the “Shannon is sweet” thing. (Note to Tara: hope I didn’t bust your bubble there.)
That’s interesting. The times I have heard people refer to you as such, I think that they really meant “good” or “innocent” or something. Maybe they have the same issues you do.
“amiable; kind or gracious” hmm.
“pleasing or agreeable; delightful” hmmmmmm.
I think when people refer to you as sweet, they are thinking you are naive or innocent, like your sister suggests…you have that sunny, optimistic disposition which is rare enough in the church, not to mention the world. I can only imagine how you must come across to your co-workers…it doesn’t surprise me that they might describe you as sweet. It probably means you’re displaying some fruits of the spirit–maybe it’s an opportunity. They probably mean it in a good way, even though the rest of us know how cutting your sarcasm can be!! We’re none of us good, like you said…maybe you just fake it better than some of us??
But I have totally displayed my sarcasm and (ahem) razor-sharp wit at school…even on school television.
Someone did make a comment kind of like what you said at school today…something about innocence, I think.
That’s pretty false, too, though…if I were innocent I wouldn’t need to be saved.
Would you agree that the “sunny optimistic disposition” is just a personality thing, though? (Thanks for the nice complement, by the way…I feel totally flattered!
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I wonder about the faking bit. Sometimes I am shocked at other people’s (in and out of the church) poor behavior…but what I am really shocked at (I think) is their lack of editing ability in public…or self control, if you prefer.
I think I could make a case that that “editing ability” is fakery in its way. I certainly spend time thinking out mean comments or imagining the humiliation of people that make me mad.
So: I’m just as sinful as the next person, but lots of my sins happen to be the sorts that no one can see…thought sort of sins. It might be a little unfair to call that fakery, I guess. But the fact remains that any sweetness I have is sort of like those Easter decorations that look like they are encrusted with sugar, but when you taste them (childhood memory alert), they are not at all sweet.
And now I am bumping into a theological problem: What exactly changes in a person when they become saved?
I’m stopping before this gets any longer (or faker!!!).
Personality does have a lot to do with it, but your choices are your own. Self-control is a fruit of the spirit; I certainly prefer that term over fakery. We’re all stronger on some than others; perhaps that is one of your strengths. The innocence is not in a lack-of-sin sense, but rather in that you have not been exposed to, and have chosen not to be exposed to, a lot of worldly things, and it shows.
I guess it would only be fair to call it fakery if I were “letting myself go” on the inside. I want to be right inside & out…but I recognize that I’m not.
I’ve lost perspective on the innocence thing. I have no idea what I look like on that.