In the Growing Garden
June 24th, 2006Wandering curling tendrils of cucumber vine grasped
At delicate lacy leaves of nodding tomato plant-
Less than friendly motive here, fragile leaf now firmly clasped-
“Come dance with me, my brother!”
Gardener, fearing loss of juicy fruit, luscious, ripe, and red
Drinks in smell of verdant garden growing in rich turned-up soil
Knot untying, gently prying tender leaf from prison dread-
“Clinging vine, release thy brother!”
Dramatic dance of caged greenery performed this summer day-
Quickens with breeze driving leaden clouds shadowing faces-
Greenery laughs, rain splashing o’er the former fray-
“Rejoice with me, my brother!”
I think I can help. Usually, when I’m trying to explain an event, I find that I’ll often include unnecessary details in the first draft. The key is to remove these until only the essential remains. Try: “someone removed vines from my tomato plants.”
See how that gets right to the point and doesn’t distract the reader with frivolous anthropomorphization of garden plants?
Also, what was the famous author of Perry Mason novels doing in your garden?
Ask my prose-loving husband what, if the time for poetry has passed, his hand is doing on my knee.
Jeremy,
I actually thought of what you said (to a certain extent) before posting the poem.
However, the intial line that came into my head (line 4) just isn’t prose.
I think it’s neat that there are so many different ways to describe an event…poems, pictures, prose…life is more beautiful as a result.
Besides, my poetry category has so few items and Odds and Ends is quite bloated!
As for our good buddy Erle, I hear he has a habit of being on the Lam. Thanks for the correction…I’ll take care of it right away.
I just went back and added the link to the above comment…I wouldn’t want anyone to be unable to appreciate my razor-sharp wit.